


Closets.

by heyitsnxel



Series: 30 Trope Prompts. [16]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: First Kiss, High School, M/M, Seven Minutes In Heaven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsnxel/pseuds/heyitsnxel
Summary: He was fine in the closet. He was safe. He was free to be whoever he wanted to behind those closed doors. But that only applied to the closet – the outside was a whole other story.





	Closets.

**Author's Note:**

> day 16: seven minutes in heaven
> 
> ! minor mentions of bullying/anxiety. nothing major, just like a sentence or two !

Dan had a long standing relationship with closets.

 

As a child, it was the first place he would go when it was time to play. He’d let his imagination run wild, pretending that the closet was another world. He could be a knight or an astronaut – even a princess, if he really wanted to.  When playing hide and seek, he’d shuffle behind the hangers of clothes, letting the fabric drape around him, hold his breathe, and wait until someone found him. He kept a stack of books hidden in the corner and after his parents put him to bed, he’d scamper into the closet – flashlight in hand – to get lost in between the pages every night. His toys, coloring books, and even his Gameboy had found a permanent home behind the doors. When he was upset, he always knew where to go.

 

As he got older, childhood games long gone - replaced with harsh words and bruises, he’d go in the closet to listen to music. Some days, he’d lie on the floor, staring up at the stars that were taped on the ceiling, and sulk to whatever emo song he had latched onto for the week. On better days, Dan would listen to happier music, drumming on the floor with a pair of pencils. There were days where he’d sit on the floor and draw for hours and there were days where his iPod and colored pencils would remain untouched on the shelf.

 

His hobbies were traded for a surplus of panic attacks and bandages throughout high school came around. There was a first aid kit on the shelf where his sketchpad used to be, a water bottle to the side. Dan couldn’t even count the number of times he’d come home from school and shut the door behind him with a slam only to sink to the floor and cry until he passed out, the amount of cuts and bruises he had bandaged and cleaned, the amount of nights he slept on the floor, or didn't sleep at all - drowning in his own thoughtd. It had become his safe haven, a place where he could just exist and not have to worry about anything happening on the outside. It was his.

 

He was _fine_ in the closet. He was _safe_. He was _free_ to be whoever he wanted to behind those closed doors. But that only applied to the closet – the outside was a whole other story.

 

* * *

 

 

“In you go, Howell!”

 

For the first time, Dan found himself being pushed into a closet against his will. Why he had decided that coming to one of Louise’s notorious parties was beyond him and now, the regret was real. He tripped over his own feet, stumbling face first into a rack of dresses that smelled like the entire perfume section of a department store, before turning to argue. But the door had already shut behind him, leaving Dan with only a sliver of light from the crack underneath and a whole lot of overly scented clothing.

 

“Great.” He mumbled to himself, slinking to the floor. His fingers ran over the strands of carpet with a sigh. Some girl was going to come in here soon and he was going to have to awkwardly entertain her for seven agonizingly long minutes – whether by making out with her or just talking. Dan wasn’t sure which option was worse, honestly. He was sure, however, that the waiting was making him nervous though. So whoever she was needed to hurry up.

 

Like someone had been reading his mind, the door swung open. The light from the bedroom spilled into the closet making Dan flinch away, squinting his eyes shut with an annoyed hiss. _Good first impression,_ he thought, not that it really mattered.

 

The person walked in and the door closed with a quiet click.

 

“I’m timing you!” Louise sang from outside the door. Dan could practically hear the amusement in her voice, dripping off every syllable. “3, 2, 1. Have fun!”

 

And then there was silence. The faint vibration from the speakers downstairs shook the door, a song so muffled that Dan couldn’t even tell what it was played in the distance. He coughed, shifting awkwardly on the floor.

 

“So…”

 

There was a quiet shuffle near the door. Dan’s eyes hadn’t adjusted from the sudden onslaught of light yet, so when the person sat down in front of him all he saw was their silhouette. Their breathing was uneven and without even seeing their face, Dan could tell they felt as nervous and awkward as he was right now.  The silence was just making it worse. Seven minutes. Dan could make small talk for seven minutes.

 

“I’m Dan, by the way.”

 

“Uh, hi. I’m Phil.”

 

“Oh!” Dan slapped a hand over his own mouth, thankful that the lack of light was hiding his blush. He wasn’t expecting it to be a boy. Now he was a million times more nervous than he had been in the first place! The closet was his safe space, literally and _figuratively._ His crushes on boys had been kept to himself, never once acted on and usually pushed away to the back of his mind. It was his secret – he’d learned the hard way that not all of his high school took kindly to someone being gay. Now, he was playing seven minutes in heaven with a boy and the whole group of people downstairs definitely knew. He didn’t have an issue with any part of the LGBTQ community. He had so many friends than fell on the spectrum in so many ways and he’d always been envious of how open they were about it. Sometimes, he wished he was the same way.

 

He just wasn’t.

 

Dan didn’t realize he had been silent for so long until Phil’s hand rest gently on his knee.

 

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

 

He traced his thumb over the rips in Dan’s jeans, a touch that Dan was odd to find comforting instead of flirty, before pulling away. Dumbly, Dan nodded before he realized that Phil couldn’t see him.

 

“I’veneverkissedaboybefore.”

 

He blurted the sentence out so fast it sounded like gibberish. Somehow Phil still understood. He laughed softly, his silhouette leaning back against the wall.

 

“That’s okay. Like I said, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

“I want to.” Dan groaned internally at how fast the sentence left his lips. What an awkward thing to say to a total stranger.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Dan nodded again, before he realized that Phil likely couldn’t see him. He muttered a quiet yeah and Phil moved to sit up, there was a faint smile on his lips that Dan could barely see. For some reason, the gesture was very reassuring.

 

“Are you sure you want this to be with some random guy in a closet?”

 

“Trust me, the closet is the perfect place to do this.” Dan laughed internally at the double meaning behind the words.

 

“Okay,” Phil moved closer to Dan, their knees bumped together and Phil gently placed his hand on Dan’s upper arm. “Can I kiss you?”

 

This time when Dan nodded, Phil was close enough to see. He hesitated for a second, giving Dan time to back out and say no if he wanted to. When it was clear that he wasn’t going to, Phil leaned in. Dan could feel his breath catch in his throat, his pulse quickening. It was almost concerning, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when Phil’s lips were on his and his hand was gently running up and down Dan’s arm. Phil pulled back and Dan subconsciously found himself following, chasing the kiss that had just been broken. It was everything that Dan quietly had hoped it would be and more.

 

(Or maybe he was romanticizing the situation and they were just two awkward teenagers in a closet at a party. The logical side of his brain could be annoying sometimes.)

 

Phil had just leaned back in, their lips catching for only a fraction of a section, when the door burst open. They both scrambled back away from each other, squinting at Louise who stood in the doorway, laughing.

 

“Sorry, loves.” She winked, motioning them go out the door. “Someone else gets a turn now.”

 

Dan was surprised to turn and find Phil already staring back at him. He had a worried smile on his lips, raising his eyebrow when they made eye contact. He mouthed  ‘Are you okay?’ and Dan just nodded. Because, _he was okay._

 

It was hesitant and small, but his first step out of the closet felt better than any of the times he'd spent locked behind the closed doors. 

Literally _and_ metaphorically. 


End file.
